“Ça a bardé!”

It’s ironic to come back after two weeks away to find the title of my last, pre-departure post: “Fleeing the chaos”. I think I meant counting the votes, and going camping in Bombolomeni. But I could just as easily have meant going on holiday to France, and the fighting that occurred whilst we were away.

The French news kept us blissfully unaware, and the irregular text message reports we received from our friends here in Kinshasa were charitably understated. I suppose most of us predicted demonstrations on and immediately after results day, and some looting by opportunistic ‘shegues’ (street kids) – mainly shops, possibly a few homes. Many of us worried about the trouble Bemba’s private army would cause if Kabila won outright. But few predicted how much trouble Kabila’s Presidential Guard would cause when Kabila didn’t win outright. As the office driver explained when we questioned him on arrival last night, “Oh la la, en tout cas, ça a bardé!”

So, what did we miss? A five-day, impromptu, most-expenses-paid, bring-your-own-food holiday in the embassy compound, for starters. The catch? You have to share the tarpaulin with your colleagues. An accomplishment in team building, perhaps, but I’m pleased that we spent the week-end partying with our mates in Paris instead. Meanwhile, our friends who live downtown, inside the “security zone” (where all of the fighting occurred) were cowering inside their houses, in the only room without windows, eating through their supplies and wishing they’d included more beer in their contingency planning. Apparently, waiting out a gunfight is more boring than it is scary (presumably when you know that those with the guns aren’t after you!). Those who ignored the security advice and chose the pleasant, leafy, spacious and more affordable suburbs found themselves rather smugly watching Sopranos, listening to the birds chirp while keeping an eye on their mobile phone for the regular text message warnings of impending doom in town.

As for our ambassadors, they spent an unexpected five hours last Monday hiding in Bemba’s cellar when the Presidential Guard attacked his house. The ambassadors were there to negotiate a ceasefire - a diplomatic faux-pas for Kabila, I should think! We couldn’t help but wonder what the ambassadors found in Bemba’s cellar…

So welcome back to Kinshasa. As our guards pointed out with genuine delight, we timed our holiday well. Everything is calm now, they assure us; everything is completely under control. Let’s hope they’re right and it stays that way. It’s hard to get a feel for the damage that’s been done. The best hope is that people will refuse to join in the fighting, that they won’t be roused by the hate talk coming from the different radio channels, that the army won’t take sides, and that the conflict will remain confined to the two candidates’ private armies.

Wimereux, France